He’s not commitment-phobic. I was in a similar situation for six years. The relationship is over, so he is no longer frightened. It sounds as if he thinks he can just come and go as he pleases, and you are confusing sex with love. And while he’s cis, the conversations that could result from the revelations of our relationship to his folks could be just as devastating as were he trans himself as well. Thus, the feelings he has for you are free to surface in this non-threatening environment. I can totally relate with being with someone that wants to treat you as though you’re their girlfriend in a committed relationship yet they emotionally they have no need to connect with you or feel the need to include you in any of his own activities other than the usual sexual situations & doing things that involve very little emotion to do together it’s sucks but worst part is I continue to get wrapped up with wanting to believe it’s just bad timing for us &I that if we had be in better situations in our lives than he would want to commit to me …. This makes me look back and think that not a single guy I was ever in a relationship has been that serious about me. I feel like, when you know, you know. However, if you have #3 along with other signs above then really it’s a no go. February 11, 2010 by Elaine AmDee Filed under Commitment. If he was serious about marrying you, then he’d find a way to convince his family that you were right for him – or at least stand up for you if they were casting doubts. He thinks that you are a perfect woman and he wants you to be a part of his life. Trust me when I say you are better off moving on. I guess he didn’t one with me or any other girl. He said I’m glowing. I found out he flirted with many. Feel free to email me if you would like to commiserate. The one question you will never hear a guy ask when he starts dating a girl is: “Will she commit to me?” It just doesn’t happen. What Killers Song Describes Your Love Life Quiz. But, if he doesn't show any sign of valuing your opinion or never cares about them, it is because he never really meant it when he said he loves you. Jo & ty, I think the guy likes you He said, he really wanted to wait till he sees me (I’m supposed to stay with him and his family the month of December, stay with him and be his date at the family xmas party. He said I love you whilst you were dating. i dont know if i should move ahead or move on..?? so i would be the one driving up as much to see him. 5. So he rolled over and just went to bed. To keep things simple. If he really does love you, he will come after you, if not, good riddance to bad rubbish. Reply. We have fun loving relationship fishing, singing, kidding around, very loving to something said taken the wrong way to an explosion argument but this time I left (his home) this has happened 2x this last event has left me feeling what am I doing? Since we met we both made it clear neither of us wanted a long term serious commitment. I just really don’t get it. That young naïve, eager to please and desperate for “love” little girl has evolved into a wiser, stronger and more aware woman in her 30th that doesn’t regret anything that has happened in her life so far. You might know details about their life, but you don’t know who they are, their real and true self that exists beneath all the superficial fluff. He’s been in a long term committed relationship before and he doesn’t seem to be letting me go even though I told him that if he doesn’t see a future with me to let go. MORE: When a Guy Won’t Call You His Girlfriend. it’s not gonna work. I met this guy in January. Like he’s mentioned or like I’ve read on here, I get he’s busy focusing on looking for a job and like I said before, he has straight up told me he doesn’t want a relationship right now. stop seeing him completely? I've said it before and I'll say it again: You don't want to miss out on a good thing. After ten months I decided that he was stalling for a bigger reason than he was letting on to ( I’m just not ready)… So I left. Get his full attention, and see how long you can keep it I initiated for us to see each other, we did, and it’s like nothing ever happened. We feed each others need for validation if it wasn’t so funny it would have been tragic. Needless to say by the time work was done I was so furious and ashamed of myself that I sent him a message saying that he won’t be seeing or hearing from me for a while, I need time and space to decide what I want from my life. I have feeling for ready for relationship. I still love him just as much as I always have. If he values your opinion and makes you feel included in his life then it is probably because he actually means it when he says he loves you and is ready to commit. They should be your first priority. So I don’t understand what he wants is he serious or he is not .. And ya he has family problems and financial problems with himself, Hi I confronted him with this and he said “No I’m not seeing other women but I think we should end it here. I have known this guy for about 10 months now and had been in love with him ever since i met him for the first time. This is a key response when a man says he isn't ready to commit. Do I leave it alone for now since I can’t even go visit for a while anyway or do I give it another week or 2 and text or call him if I haven’t heard anything? PERIOD. At this point, I would just see him as a friend and move on to date other guys. And though it hurt me buy I learned a valuable lesson too. Love yourself enough to stop. But never think for a second that you can MAKE him commit. He’s just not ready for commitment at the moment as he is still on a mission to find a job in his career field of interest, and to finally settle down. I broke up with him because I didn’t want to deal with this, the guy is over 30 years and still afraid of commitment? I’ve been there and I’m telling you, it isn’t. He even jokes about he and I, as old people and all. Maybe it’s in the fairly recent “romantic princess meets prince charming, who whisks her away” ideal that the seed of destruction lies. But I am falling inlove with him after 6 months. I think it’s normal not to know when we’ve only been hanging for a couple months. If I was you I’ll remove myself from that whole situation. If you ever hear from him again, I guess that’s your answer. I need someone to pull my hand towards the light!! As someone you genuinely want and need to have around. I said, are you saying you are not wanting a relationship or you don’t know? I hate to over simply it, and I’m certainly not speaking for every man, but believe you me, that “commitment” you are so desirous of is extremely one-sided and very dangerous for the average man to sign on to, to say nothing of the man with significant assetts. Well, of course he says he’s completely over his ex. and MOVE ON ALREADY!!!!!!! You’re putting up with it. but telling you to date other men?? Had I come across this article 5 years ago I can almost guarantee I would not be in a relationship with my boyfriend let alone be living with him… I was somewhat nervous as to how he would react towards my son but to my surprise he was respectful and pleasant to him. When i told him a week ago I wanted to see him more he responded “I hear you” and “why can’t let things simple as they are now”. Women of all ages and across all cultures are united in their quest to determine the following: Does he like me? don’t be scared just as fast as you found Joe you can find moe lol. My ex lives across street, he uses that as excuse alot yet he goes & asks for favors etc yet wants me to limit my talks … its frustrating 6 yrs is along time & he had me end many friendships he didn’t agree with yet his friends can do no wrong. 3. should I have given him another chance? Im heart broken but i feel that im wasting my time coz i never know how he feels l. Any ideas ladies or gents??? In fact, he will run as far as he can when you mention that you want him to meet your parents. i started noticing that he was pulling away. But you cannot settle. The guts in such an act are fuelled by the fact that the friend knows there’s certainly no future for you and your man. This may sound bad but take a look at his Facebook. Jo. Lily, I am in the almost exact same boat. My ex at age 35 lived with his parents, for 4 years whilst with me.Promised we would live together when he moved out. Anyway we are giving things another go, he texts me every day, sometimes we speak on the phone and we catch up every couple of weeks and end up sleeping together, I have told him I want a proper relationship and not to be a friend with benefits. It won’t. We’ve been neighbors/friends for 6 yrs before we both divorced our partners. We talk about our futures, our dreams our hopes our fears.. He’s in the military and out in the field for 3 weeks and won’t see him for a month. stay strong. This is a matter of self-love, integrity, and self-protection. Some days he says he is fully supportive of me & states he ” respects ” me for being a good Mom & other days he’s telling me I have to move out or ” make ” her father take her on weekends when he is supposed to!! What bothers me is he doesn’t ask me to go…I don’t understand when I always want him with me. If he doesn’t want you… he won’t want to commit to you and reveal the inner parts of himself to you. He is always telling me how much he loves me, he opens up to me and he does put the effort in when we go out on dates. It could be because his goal has never been to find a woman to spend the rest of his life with. Questions and uncertainties regarding commitment seem to be reserved for the ladies. Reply. So maybe that is what I would tell you to do. He truly threw me off and pretty much deceived me. Please help me figurethis one out! Walk away. He always says no I don’t we had sex also im kind of his half wife and he just says no for those kind of stuffs .. We started dating anyway and I felt like he was becoming more interested in just “going with the flow”. We do like each other and care for each other. I need help, I want out of this, I need more questions!! He tells you that you’re the one for him yet he doesn’t make you feel like you are. You and your children are what’s important. When a guy cares about a girl and sees a future with her, he wants to bring her into his world as much as possible. I knew he was seeing and sleeping with another woman, it was pretty obvious when everyone we associated with when we went out would mistake me for her… Nice right? Needless to say he knew it was coming when I got there and he tried to avoid the conversation the entire weekend, Sunday night come Monday morning I started the conversation – I wasn’t leaving until I said what I came to say, and I did – all of it, every single pent up resentment, frustration, disappointment, hurt, disrespect, humiliation, rejection and heartbreak. Met someone in the Virgin Islands on a 3 month trip, we were inseparable. He tells you he loves you but he won’t commit to you. If you have to do that, it isn’t worth having. Take care of yourself and your children. i have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now. I thought of him like as friend. He never financialy gives me anything at end of a working week he makes me waight for days till i have nothing then i must ask for housekeeping money . Spice things up. In February he stopped setting the other girls. I was dating a guy for about 7 months. 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